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My heart dropped. I was in the most edgy and tense state I've ever been in. I didn't even know what he would look like. It happened all too fast. I was so nervous I didn't even want to come out and walk towards his car. I told him to come out and that I was coming. I ended up walking out from the side of my house out of the darkness as he got out of his car. It was night time and I couldn't see his face until he was about 10 feet away. As he approached me I was at ease to see his positive demeanor and young face. He had curly hair and he was very cute looking. He was sleek and tall and had a cut jawline with a shaggy yet subtle sexy beard. He was a red bone light skin type of guy and he had a nice cologne that smelled really good. I have never had any sort of sexual moment with any guy so I didn't know how I should say Hi and was on the inside tripping balls from the nervousness. Surprisingly though he ended up being pretty normal and just shook my hand and said wassup. After that I. Are you angry with me? I need to know… am I forgiven? Boom, boom. I don’t want to remember dying… I don’t want to remember this pain. Boom, boom. I don’t want to remember the broken promises… that stain like cloying lies. Have you nothing to say? * * * ‘Do you dream about me? Tell me your truth. Do you dream I am with you?’ Where else would I go? How could I not dream about you? Did you think I’d found someone else? Sometimes I really believe you are here. That I’ll wake in the morning and everything will be just as it was. But there is no going back… nowhere we can return to… and even if we could, it was all just a masquerade… a sick joke played at our expense… Did you consider that? All our time together was an illusion… there was no future… not for me… not for us. And I can’t face you. I never had your strength, or your courage. You were ever the binding that held me, without you I’ve fallen apart. Dreaming is not enough… not when I wake in the dark burning for your touch… not.
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